It was a cold day on the last night of November, with rain coming down in a downpour. And to top that, it was starting to turn into slush., This made for a really cold, dark, and dreary night.
Which was actually a good thing for someone like me. Call me a thief, cat burglar, or B&E specialist, I sometimes redistributed other people’s good fortune for my benefit. What can I say? Some people punch a clock, some play the stock market. I sneak around and take from the “Haves”. Don’t get me wrong, I am not exactly Robin Hood. But I do have an ethical code for whom I take from.
Unfortunately, in this deluge, I wasn’t in a good position, because my car had decided it needed some naptime. That’s really not a trait one wants in a vehicle, especially in a livelihood that depends on mobility.
I had already “unburdened” three other places, so the Impala was getting way too full. It had been a good night, until this development, but I wasn’t about to get caught in this neighborhood, with a car full of loot, because a tow truck was going to alert everyone in a mile area with flashing lights and company records of the call. I needed another option.
I was intrigued by the nearby houses. Actually, they weren’t all that ‘nearby’, as this was more a rural area, outside the ‘burbs of the city. This was where stretches of farmland had been ‘developed’ into country estates, gated communities, and, in this case, a series of small mansions. The owners were all well-off, if not millionaires, so they liked both privacy, and roomy houses, and a quarter mile spacing between properties.
These places were monuments to materialism. They provided a wonderful shopping experience for someone like me. When I say ‘shopping’ I mean burglary, theft, B&E. That sort of thing. I was about to add Auto Theft to that list.
I was actually pretty good with cars, so I knew what needed to be done. I just had to move fast before anyone saw me doing it. It was the middle of the night, the rain had been coming down for hours, and the temperature was dropping, so there weren’t that many people on the road. That was something.
I was dressed in black jeans, a black hoodie and sneakers, with a black ski hat and a black mask on. I almost felt like the male version of Cat Woman, except, without all the leather and a whip or boobs. But Cat Woman was really good at sneaking around, and stealing. And that was me. So I channeled my feline feminine spirit animal, and got down to the business.
Like a cat, I didn’t like getting wet, but in this weather, I just had to suck it up. So I pulled up my hood, got out of the car, and started casing the closest houses.
The first house was not empty, seeming to have about 8 vehicles in the crescent driveway, and some lights were still on in the upstairs. I heard sounds that indicated that it might be more than just movie night, as passion-sounds echoed past the closed windows. Lots of passionate moans. Maybe they’d all be busy. But I wasn’t going to chance it, unless I had to.
So I moved on to the next house and I hit the jackpot.
If I had a moving van, I could have made out quite well. This place was loaded with all sorts of things I could fence easily. It was almost too good to be true.
The owners had done several things which just amazed me. First, their house was virtually unlocked. Only the front door was actually locked, but not the side or back doors. The security system was not turned on, and the house was not occupied. There were those little timer lights that turned on select interior lights at certain intervals, to give the appearance of occupancy, but I saw those for what they were right away.
I wondered if someone had beat me to raiding the place, but I was soaked to the bone, and was just in a hurry to get in out of the cold freezing rain.
They had a rustic holiday display on their back patio, which was screened from the rain by an awning that stretched from the house for about 25 feet, and shielded a picnic table and this strange display of jars and Christmas lights. They had one of those spiral light prelit artificial trees on the patio, as well, along with 2 animated reindeer display lights, whose legs and antlered heads moved. It was actually kind of nice.
It was about then that the temperature seemed to drop even more, and the rain changed, almost instantly, to snow.
I snuck into the house, and I saw a kitchen straight ahead, and to the side was a laundry room. I saw a pile of clothing in a laundry basket, and I moved over, and grabbed a few of the items, to find out that they were roughly my size. They looked like work out clothing, and they smelled fresh, so yay! I could get out of my wet things and put these on.
I opened a few cabinets over the washer, and found some plastic trash bags, so I took a few, and proceeded to remove my clothing, and stuffed the wet things into one of the trash bags. I toweled off, using one of the plush towels in the basket, as well, and found there were other garments I could borrow, as well, once I took care of business here.
I was actually quite a considerate thief, and I didn’t want to track muddy, wet shoes through the house and drip all over everything. That’s just rude.
I got down to my undies, before I pulled on a pair of black sweats from the basket, then I padded, barefoot through the house, checking to make sure I was alone, and to see what there was to see.
So, yup. I cased the joint in my borrowed sweats, a mask, a ski hat, and my tattoos. I was rather proud of the ink, and I planned on getting more.I mention this, because I found myself admIring myself in one of the bathroom’s full length mirrors.
It was a nice home, and the folks that lived there had kids, and what appeared to be a grandma living there. At least, that’s what I got from my surveillance of the place.
I had several trash bags with me to put stuff in, but for some reason, I didn’t really want to rip these nice people off. Other than to ‘borrow’ one of their vehicles, and the clothing I was going to wear when I left.
I found the garage, and when I went in there, I found a minivan, and a cherry-red, well maintained 70’s era pick up. It looked like someone had taken a lot of time and effort to restore it, or keep it maintained. I vowed to do no harm, other than to borrow the easily hotwire-able truck to make my get-away in. The plates were current, as I gave them a glance, so I didn’t expect any trouble from a random, unexpected traffic stop.
I did find the keys, however, stuffed in the visor. GODS! These people! They were so trusting! I felt really bad about even thinking about purloining their stuff, now. But, I wasn’t about to stop now. I was going to do what I came to do, and save my sweet little ass.
So, I started up the Minivan Yes, that’s right. The minivan. Its plates were current, too, and yes, the spare key for the minivan was under the wheel-well on the back right. I pulled it out of the garage, and let it idle, while I went back in and grabbed my stuff, pulling on a red t-shirt, a dark gray zip up hoodie, and put my boots back on. But before I did that, I went around and locked all the doors and checked the windows, and made sure they were all locked.
I didn’t want these nice people’s house to get burglarized again by some unscrupulous thug.
And then I made my get-away.
In the end, I did manage to transfer the loot from my car into the minivan. I got the loot to the buyer, collected my reward, and then went back with tow truck. I knew a guy that knew a guy, that did work off the books, who hauled my dead Impala from the place it was napping, to my garage. I could work on the ol’ girl and get her purring once more. But later.
Oh, I returned the minivan. I even refilled the tank to where I’d found it before taking it out on its excursion.
No one had returned to the house since I’d been there several hours before, and in the pre-dawn light, with snow drifting down, I stripped off the T-shirt I’d borrowed and then sat on the picnic table on the back patio, and enjoyed the Christmas lights for a little bit. I shivered, watching the snow drifting down, but It was almost peaceful and I felt the holiday spirit then and there. I smiled. It had all worked out, I thought.
But I had to get a move on. No sense in tempting good fortune. I padded back inside, and slipped on the dry clothing I’d brought with me, tossed the T-shirt and sweats into the washer, and then I locked the place back up (they had been kind to leave a spare door key over the back door sill).
So I pretty much left the place as I’d found it, more or less, sans a few hefty garbage bags.
Sometimes, you just have be the good guy. Karma can be a bitch if you don’t.
Story by: Dehrynn Shepherd
Hair/Hat- *Besom~Star (Uber)
Eyeshadow & Lipstick- Zibska ~ Rovena & Lurelle (Uber)
.Reckless. – Howlin (L&F)