Featured Item: ::K:: Noble Coat (Shiny Shabby)
Haven’t you ever wondered what happens to you when you die?
I know I did, and I think a lot of you did, too.
Well it’s obvious if I’m talking to you – so I’m either not dead, or something funky is going on. In this case, well.. Let me just tell you a little story. It’s about the day I met Ralphie, the Reaper. And it really was … memorable. At least for me it was.
Oh, I’m Kendall, by the way – pleased to meet you!
So, here I was minding my own business – as much as anyone that is a paranormal investigator can. Well, I poke my nose into other people’s business, but it’s usually in the past-tense. In this case, I was spending my evening reviewing the recordings I’d made at the Sanderson Manor the night before.
I saw this ‘thing’ (that’s a technical term) on my screen. At first, it was just a shadow, but as I watched – hell yeah! That shadow emerged into a translucent glowing spectral creature! I’d captured ACTUAL evidence of a presence! Something that could be measured! I rewound the recording over and over, and it was still there! I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.
It was the spectral woman, in an Edwardian era dress, prim and proper, like something out of that Abbey show on PBS. It was amazing! She had these intense yellow eyes, and was ghostly pale (no pun intended), with dark brown hair and moved with a grace that was almost supernatural – but I guess as a ghost you can move like that.
SO! I grabbed my gear and headed over to the Sanderson House. It was raining and storming out, and the neighborhood was dark, as lightning had blasted a transformer in the area. So it was really dark at the old house anyway.
I raced up the porch-steps and tried the front door. I wasn’t too soaked with the chill rain, but it was not a night to spend out-of-doors. I pushed in and closed the door behind me, and shivered in the chill atmosphere of the dark foyer. Flashes of lightning lit the insides, casting exaggerated shadows, and was totally creepy. So, I pulled a flashlight out of my bag, and started to move towards the upstairs.
The floorboards creaked, and the fury of the storm outside moaned against the house, making the whole scene that much more creepy. As I cleared the last of the stairs, I saw a soft glowing spectral light. It was the Lady Genevieve Sanderson. And she was holding a young punk up against the wall with one hand, dangling him feet 2 feet off the floor. He was gurgling, turning blue, and I was suddenly about to piss myself.
I suddenly realized 2 things.. Dude.. This was a BAD idea.
And also – it was so so AWESOME!
“Holy.. Bat Crap!” I exclaimed.
Lady Genevieve turned her face towards me, and her oil slick eyes narrowed. She dropped the punk and he crumpled to the floor – a kid in his late teens by the looks, all badass skinny skater punk, with tats, jeans, a leather jacket, and a long board skate.
The Lady glided towards me with a wicked, hungry smile, like something out of X-Files.
I did what any sane person would do. I ran like a scaredy cat.
At least I tried. But I’d dropped my backpack in my excitement, my foot slipped into the backstrap, and I tripped over it and landed face first, knocking the breath out of myself. Before I could push back off the floor, she was on me.
Her hands were cold and burned like sub-zero frost. I could feel the life force being sucked out of me. That’s when the skate punk decided to weigh in. He grabbed his skate, shouted, “Die you bitch!” And swung the board. It was rather ironic, since I was sure whe was probably already dead.
Unfortunately ghosts don’t follow the laws of physics so well. The board passed right through her and clocked me in the cabaza – right in the temple. And that’s when I kinda blacked out.
When I ‘came to’ there was a fight going on between this badass black suited, white-haired dude with these amazing pig-tails and a scythe, and the Demon Lady Sanderson. Ok, so she might not be a ghost, but a demon. Or both. How should I know? Ohhh.. Right.. I’m a paranormal expert.
The two were fencing, circling one another – the Lady had some kind of spectral sword in her hand, attacking the guy with the scythe, and she scored a hit on Pigtail’s cheek! There was a furious series of blows exchanged, until finally Lady Sanderson took a blade-hit to her ribs from that creepy scythe, and a fountain of black and red spectral ectoplasmic blood splattered everywhere! She hissed in rage, holding her side, and then ran through the wall, trying to escape.
The other dude – Pigtails – was crouched and breathing hard, but relatively unhurt. Who the hell was he? Some kind of Grim Reaper?
I didn’t see Skater Punk anywhere, though there was evidence that the balcony banister was broken – maybe he took a nose dive to the first floor?
Anyway – Pigtails stalked over towards me, and held out a hand, and as he spoke, for some reason, I thought he was going to say, like Arnold in T2,’Come with me if you want to live.’
But – no. Pigtails said, “Come on, get up. We don’t have much time.“
I blinked and took his hand. As he hauled me up, I noticed my body was kinda translucent. I swallowed and looked down, and there I was, my physical body laying on the ground, a small trickle of blood leaking from my temple. It looked a little caved in. I don’t know why, but I didn’t freak out. I went, “Oh man.”
Pigtails gripped my shoulder, his hand was tattooed and those nails – kinda sexy! But he shook me and made me look into his eyes. Behind those rectangular lensed glasses, he stared back at me with these amazing eyes – one was green, one was blue, and damn I thought, “What a classy looking guy.”
I guess I said it out loud, cause he smirked at me, and said, “Thanks, but we gotta get outta here. I have to get you to some place we can talk.“
“I think you’re just a little late – I’m dead, already, aren’t I?” I said that in a rather calm voice, and he huffed and gave me a shake. “Look,” Pigtails started, in a rather sarcastic voice. “There’s Dead, and then there’s Dead and Gone, and then there’s “Dead and eaten by spectral entities and made into a thrall of the demonic hordes of hell”. So – Please. Yes, you’re dead, now can we go, please?”
There was this cacophony of screams coming from downstairs, and the punk-dude was leading a charge up to the 2nd floor at the head of what looked like the undead goonsquad. He was one of them now! It was an intense moment – I was terrorized beyond the capacity for rational thought.
“Bloody hell, “ Pigtails said, and then grabbed me by the arm, and whirled that wicked old-fashioned scythe around us in a vertical circle, and this portal thing seemed to open, like the blade had cut a hole in the fabric of the universe, and we stepped through it.
I say stepped – Pigtails pushed me through it like I was a sack of grain, and I landed on my ass on the other side.
He followed me through a few moments later, the sounds of unholy hellspawn shrieks getting closer and closer. There was a second thump beside be – it was my physical body – before Pigtails came through and did that slashing motion again with the scythe. The ‘portal’ closed. We were in my apartment and I was breathing heavy.
Pigtails glanced around and shook his head. “Ok now – first things first. I’m … “
I held up a hand and the white-maned figure stopped, and frowned, and lifted an eyebrow, “Yes?”
“What in the mother-puss-bucket was THAT? “ I shouted. I pushed up and slumped in a chair, looking down at my physical dead body, and then back at him. Then I said, in a calmer tone, “Who are you? What was that LSD moment, and how the hell did you transport us here? What just happened?”
Pigtails frowned, and shook his head, “Ok, in short order – You were attacked, because you were stupid, in a house haunted by a demonic spirit in the form of the Lady Sanderson. My name is Ralphie – I’m a Reaper – And I fought off the demonic bitch, and saved your soul from becoming lunch or worse. My scythe created a portal here. I think that about covers it? Sorry I didn’t make it there sooner. Unfortunately, you died. “
Of course hearing that I died earlier hadn’t impacted me, so now it didn’t seem to either. I opened my mouth, closed it, then shook my head, finally saying, “What.. I.. how.. I don’t recall dying.“
Pigtails – err Ralphie – held up a hand, turning my own gesture back on me, and said, “Sorry – I’m not the most subtle person when it comes to these things. You don’t need to be subtle when you’re a Reaper. But yeah.. I got there just after that punk clocked you in the noggin’. She went after him, instead of feasting on your ass. So at least there’s that. But that’s how it happened.”
Although I was a spectral being, I was still dressed like I’d been in life. “Residual self Image” as a term floated through my mind, or whatever I used to reason with now that my meat-body was laying ala carte on the floor. I needed a few minutes to wrap my head around that, and Ralphie gave me the time. At least about 5 minutes. And then said “Ok slick, we need to get you going to the J Station. We can’t hang around here til dawn.“
I looked up at Ralphie with a forlorn look, and sighed, “So, you were just a little late.. “
Ralphie rolled his eyes and opened up a small box he had, in the shape of a coffin about 3 inches long. He pointed it at my corpse, and it vanished from the floor, and reappeared, in miniature, inside the little coffin in his hand.
“Look, I have your body in here – it’s a transport box. So don’t’ worry. That’s why I grabbed it before we transported here. I didn’t want that Demonic Bitch to get her paws on it. If you are a good boy, perhaps I can get you reinstated. I mean, there were extenuating circumstances.“
“Reinstated,” I asked. “What’s that?”
Well, essentially, I was given a new path to follow, a sort of living path – and Ralphie was pretty cool in helping me get into the program – but that’s a whole other story. Suffice it to say, I’m Ralphie’s apprentice now. In my case, reinstatement came with strings. But I don’t mind – Junior Reaper Kendall – that’s me.
Coat & Shirt- ::K:: Noble Coat Black (Shiny Shabby)
Pants- ::GB::stripe susupender pants (TMD)
Glasses- Le Morte – Disasterology Glasses (Store)
Necklace- MINIMAL – Lindsey Necklace (Store)
Scythe- C L A Vv. The Death’s Scythe (Store)
*Bolson / Tattoo – Sak Yant (Store)